| Posted by: Ajwells at July 21, 2005, 12:52 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Wow... just wow. This movie was mind-boggling horrible. Easy D- (1/10). I had to struggle through every minute of this. It's bad enough to do another vampire movie - Seriously Hollywood enough is enough, think of something new - but to then destroy it they way they did is almost admirable. This movie is on par with LCG and Hellboy to me. They should sell a three pack, or just combine the three into "The Xtrordinary League of Van Hellboys" The CG was nothing special and infact quite poor for the time it came out, the acting was not even a joke. Oh well, bring 'em on, they'll make money. | | Static Link |
| Posted by: poopontheshoes7 at July 18, 2005, 10:21 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Boring, CGI jargon. It would have been better if it was all in Black N' White. | | Static Link |
| Posted by: MrCouch at July 18, 2005, 2:42 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Van Helsing is by far one of the worst movies i have ever seen. I remember my friends suckering me into this film. I told them from the get go that i had a really bad feeling about it. We all ended up walking out of the theatres (at the end) with wide eyes and a green face. With terrible acting, lame CGI, a poor plotline and cheesiest (the uncoolest of ways) screenwriting, Van Helsing lacked everything it should or could have been. horrible movie. how some of you guys gave this movie over a 5 is beyond me. Kate Beckinsale may be one of the most beautiful women in hollywood, but that is ALL she is. horrible actress who should belongs in Lifetime movies. shame on you hugh jackman for sigining to this trash.....plain old hollywood trash.... shame on you. 3/10 | | Static Link |
| Posted by: Cronos at July 16, 2005, 5:33 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | well, overall Van Helsing was one hell of a popcorn flick, it was also a perfect example of going for style over substance. the direction and cinematography were overall excellent, the film looked great and there were a lot of nice looking scenes and images (i especially loved the 10 minute black and white opening). as for the CGI, overall i didnt think it was that bad, it was far from being perfect but it was also far from being awul, the creatures looked pretty nice although there were some moments where it was too cartoonish and fake but overall it was well done. the acting was also alright, far from great but they did a good job. at the end i had fun with Van Helsing, it looked nice and was fun but as for the characters and story, i really couldnt give a shit as to what happened 8/10 | | Static Link |
| Posted by: NotKeyserSoze at August 12, 2004, 6:49 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Everything that needs to be said about Van Helsing has been said already. But I'm quite a grumpy old sod, so allow me to join the chorus. Firstly, the concept is pure Hollywood excess from the word go: Forgetting Abraham Van Helsing's role in Bram Stoker's novel (in fact, forgetting the original novels exist at all), we have Gabriel Van Helsing (so-named for a very, very silly reason) fighting practically every monster Universal could contractually get its hands on. Along for the ride is Kate Beckinsale, in a corset. It's sad, but that's really all you need to know about her character. Richard Roxborough, or "a great big lump of ham," hams his hammy way through the role of Dracula. He has a plan. His three brides have cleavages, and director Stephen Sommers goes to considerable pains to draw your attention to them. And, you know, away from the plot. Now, if anybody is to be entrusted with the role of "Indiana Jones meets James Bond," I can't suggest much better than Hugh Jackman. An immen... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: Ultimate_Sandwich at July 26, 2004, 5:54 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Wow, is all I can say. I mean, fuck--I usually dig movies when I go in expecting shit with some dumbass action. So I liked such crapfests as Matrix Revolutions and The Core. What a surprise was Van Helsing. I don't know what the magic element was, but something in this film just sucked all the enjoyment right out of me. For those of you not reading carefully enough, I HATED THE GODDAMN THING. The action got tired real quick for some reason... just wasn't "feeling" it. the story? HAhahaAHhah.... that's all I can say (derrr... story?). I didn't give a flying fuck about anyone, and this flick laid on the formula so heavy that I was praying for the predictable conclusion about halfway through. For me to enjoy the action, I have to CARE.. even a LITTLE bit! But I couldn't! One-dimensional, flat characters, the STUPID ASSHOLE thrown in for comic relief, and the ridiculous amount of people swinging from things just put me over the edge. I can't even rate Van Helsing, because after seeing it I refuse to ca... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: RyanRR at July 26, 2004, 5:24 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | That was 7$ I will never get back...Was'nt expecting much and received even less...Worst performance of the year will be a toss up between Kate Beckinsale and whomever tried to portray Dracula....All in all, garbage | | Static Link |
| Posted by: REAL_XYZ at June 7, 2004, 5:49 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | This is one of the better action movies I've seen in a while. I had a great time at the theater. I had feelings (either good or bad) for most of the characters. I can't say that about many films. Yes, the CGI was over done in a few scenes, but I didn't find it distracting. The background of this flick was fantastic. Bravo. Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale did a decent job. (Kate, you're a babe). I didn't like the fact that every creature was thrown into this movie. I think parts 2 and 3 will be lame, because they used up all the good monsters. I would see this movie again. I say...9/10. | | Static Link |
| Posted by: FerrellFan911 at June 6, 2004, 7:58 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | "Van Helsing" kicks off the summer movie season with so much action, I walked out of the theater with busted eardrums and a headache, instead of energy and vigor. I was none the wiser after watching over two hours of death-defying stunts, over-the-top fights, and too many close calls with death. The heros' luck was 50/50 the whole time, and I never believed once they wouldn't succeed. Filled with CGI shots, "Van Helsing" is very dark, succeeding in creating a lush, Gothic Transylvania that serves as a monster hunting ground throughout the movie. The film's story is hectic and fast-paced to the point where you don't care and just hitch on for the ride. There are a few surprisingly good moments in the acting for several involved. Yet, "Van Helsing" just doesn't quite cut it and is kind of a let down in the sense of blockbuster quality. However, some stunts and action sequences, while mostly far-fetched, are too outrageously spectacular to miss. Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is a mons... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: lightcat at May 29, 2004, 7:05 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Hi, everybody! I'm from Prague and I've been at the shooting of Van Helsing. It was very exciting to see how the movie was born at your eyes! And when I saw the movie at the premiere here in Prague on May 5, it was unbelievable to see how they put all together!!! 2 hours were gone at the speed of one minute. I think Sommers made the best movie for eyes in the history. But it was something new in movie's story also. There are no only good and bad characters, everybody in this movie has two sides of pesonality. By the way, I've found an online game already made on this movie. I've tried and it's fun! Here you can try - http://www.vanhelsing.cz/games/vhpexeso.html 9/10 | | Static Link |
| Posted by: darthsidious32 at May 28, 2004, 9:33 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Van Helsing Review My Rating: 6/10 Let me first say that I'm a huge fan of the old 1930's and 40's Universal monsters. My dad, who grew up on those films, introduced them to me when I was pretty young. Bela Lugosi's Dracula, Boris Karloff's Frankenstein monster, and Lon Chaney Jr.'s Wolf Man were some of my favorites (along with the Invisible Man and The Mummy). So when I heard about Van Helsing, and saw the previews, I was excited. I knew Steve Sommers loved those old movies. And judging from what we got with his "Mummy" flicks a few years back, I was expecting Van Helsing to be the same kind of film: An updated version of old monsters with a rollercoaster ride plot. Well that's what we got, but it wasn't as good as Sommer's Mummy films. [Spoilers] First of all, there were some plot problems. There's a scene where Van Helsing's horse carriage with six horses pulling it along jumps a broken bridge over a huge ravine that they never would've made it over if actual laws of gravity were applied. It al... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: quoth_the_raven at May 27, 2004, 11:22 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | I almost knew it was going to happen. I am sure you all remember that movie. The trailer looked good, but the mix of Kate Beckinsale, Vampires and Werewolves turned out to be a bit of a steaming pile. Van helsing had an excellent trailer, kate beckinsale, vampires and werewolves. I should have read the omens. anyway, on with the positives and negatives. Postive- * Hugh Jackman turned in a solid performance. Not his best, but it was enough to make this movie seems a little bit more watchable. * some of the creature effects were great. * The opening black and white sequence, then the first of Van Helsing's battles promised a lot. negatives- * Kate beckinsale. I have yet to see her turn in a performance that could be described as adequate, in any movie. How the woman still gets work is beyond me * The worst Dracula I have ever seen. No charisma, no real sense of menace. Very stiff performance from the actor,the one with the name that i have forgotten * Some of the accents were either terrible or annoying. Some ... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: chinton at May 13, 2004, 7:52 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Easily one of the worst films I have seen in such a long time. Everything was wrong with this film. The acting aside from jackman was atrocious. The guy who played Dacula gave a performance that was laughable. The plot was mostly incoherent or just really stupid. This movie had so much promise but instead it decided to take the lazy way out. The worst part though w as the dialogue. They w ere trying to be deliberately cheesy and funny but instead it came off a s painful. I mean did they really think they were being funny. Orginally I gave this a higher grade but its dropped considerably as I thought more about it. 1/10 | | Static Link |
| Posted by: darchangel at May 13, 2004, 3:30 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | First of all, i would like to say that i am against the masses....i ENJOYED Van Helsing, and i'll let you all in on the secret why...lean in close now... IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY FROM THE BOOKS!!! it's a movie that combines dracula, wolfman, and frankenstein, for the love of jebus! what were you expecting? a literal interpretation of every single character as they came from the original books? it was meant to be a fun, exciting romp, and that's EXACTLY how i took it... i thought that while some of the CGI was bad, you have to think it would be hard to show some of those things otherwise; for example, the brides of dracula were atrociously bad CGI in vamp form, but there was really no other way to do it and achieve what the cinematographers wanted it to do. some of the scenes i thought were incredible (castle frankenstein, for instance), and while some of the dialogue was uber-cheese, please try to keep in mind THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR!!! THE SCRIPT WRITERS KNEW THIS WASN'T GOING TO BE T... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: Izzy77 at May 13, 2004, 3:50 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | First off, I must say this movie is good, But not great.I just thought they messed up with that guy who played Dracula. Boy sometimes when he was speaking to VaN Helsing I was like What is he saying.Second Unversial Studios did a great job on Frankenstein 04 version.Wolfman was good too, But the thing that was missing was gore. I know this had a PG-13 rating, But when you are hunting these creatures, It won't be squeaky clean. The wifes of Dracula were hot in this movie, But I wanted them to shut up.Oh I almost forgot the baby bats, They should have cut that compelety and I think we didn't get that much info about van helsing is he imortal or what? Dracula remembers him about 400 years ago, But Van can't remember. This movie is a great summer flick, I f you like to see the unversial monsters 04 version, check it out, Izzy | | Static Link |
| Posted by: Hatfield at May 11, 2004, 1:03 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | A little too much CGI for my tastes. However, I tried to look at this movie as an entertaining, brainless monsterfest, but in the end, I saw it was a brainless, boring shitfest. The movie had good potential; all the Universal monsters and a wanted murderer who kills the monsters, but the history of these characters never went anywhere. Who was Van Helsing and why was he doing what he did (maybe I missed that when I fell asleep)? The action scenes were okay, nothing special. The performances were very weak, and this is coming from a guy who enjoyed Hugh Jackman in X2, and Kate Beckinsale in, well, she's just sexy. The dialogue was horrible (yes I know, it's an adventure film, but I don't care), and in the end, the movie was all too cheesy. I've never cared for Stephen Sommers, probably never will. In conclusion, if you're into adventure/action/monster movies, this maybe your thing. I like horror movies, but I wouldn't consider this horror. It just wasn't my kind of movie and to my disbelief, didn't keep me en... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: bigred760 at May 10, 2004, 11:24 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | It's not a great movie, it's simply a good one. Heavy special effects, hot women, and a cool lead character lead the pact in this hero vs. monsters movie. The movie may have a little too much special effects; and a few scenes were a little too far fetched, and it hurt the movie. One of the monsters swinging from wire to wire seemed a bit much and pathetic. And the werewolves aspect to the story just didn't seem to have a point to anything; they were more for convenience to the end of the story. Okay, enough of the bad - other than the aforementioned above, the special effects were pretty cool and added to the action. There were several really suspenseful fight scenes and sequences. I found myself jumping in my seat every now and again even though I could see it coming. And the "carriage chase scene" was also pretty cool. The FX added to the eeriness and creepiness of it all as well. Overall, it was a bit much, but still pretty cool. I liked how the story intertwined the Dracula and Frankenstein myt... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: Li-1 at May 9, 2004, 9:09 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Van Helsing-4/10 The first fifteen minutes of Van Helsing are promising: a black-and-white prologue depicting mad scientist Frankenstein and his monstrous creation is a nice little homage to the Universal Pictures of past times. It's nicely juxtaposed with the movie's opening action sequence, an exhilarating battle between the titular Van Helsing and the evil Mr. Hyde (a silly special effect, but used well in this opening scene), with plenty of over-the-top stunts that are thrilling to watch. But most of the rest of the film is a complete and utter mess, so much that I wouldn't be surprised if the movie saw an afterlife as a cult classic of sorts. Truth be told, I sort of admire the movie's outrageousness and I honestly can't bring myself to totally hate it, but I sure as hell can't say I liked it, either. Hugh Jackman stars as Van Helsing, the Vatican Church's assassin of evil creatures. A clumsy monologue between Van Helsing and one of the priests serves as exposition, though you would think this conversat... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: Briare Rabbit at May 9, 2004, 8:07 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | They said The League of Extraordinary Gentleman was bad last summer. They didn't say it was bad, they said it was god awful. But did Jekyll and Hyde look like a mini-hulk? And at leats that movie had some amusing set pieces. What did Van Helsing have? Nothing really. First off, special effects are supposed to be good in these films people. Mr Hyde, like mentioned looked like a fucking HULK. He's not supposed to look like the Hulk. And it only gets worse. The moron who played fucking Dracula sounded like someone doing an extremely horrible Gary Oldman impersonation. Probably didnt have enough budget left to get Oldman. Besides, his days of bad accents are over. Anyway, the movie was basically as followed: *cue loud noise* *cue unfunny remark by obnoxious comic relief monk* *cue cheezy line by Van Helsing* *cue monster of literature jumping out no where dressed like a munster* *cue rip off shot of more sucessful action film of recently (The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean, Freddy vs Jason, Bram Stoker's Dracu... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: JollyG87 at May 9, 2004, 1:28 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Van Helsing is a monster killer who works for a secret society that sends him to Transylvania to hunt down Dracula. When he gets there, he meets the beautiful Anna Valerious whose part of a royal family suffering from an age-old curse that can only be broken when Dracula is slain. I was never expecting to be blown away by this movie, but I did expect it to be fun, and for the first 10 minutes that was exactly what I got. It was perfectly corny and a blast to watch! Then Van went to Translyvania and the movie seemed to go downhill from there. You see, this is one of those movies that just keeps getting worse and worse and worse! It started out awesome, then as it went along it was pretty good, then I was bored so it became just fair, and then the ending (which I'll discuss later) made it below average. This happened for one main reason and it was because the mood of the film was all wrong! Like I said before, the beginning was cool. It was perfectly corny and I loved all the references to the old monster movi... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: urbanlegend23 at May 8, 2004, 5:41 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | VAN HELSING (2004) THE GOOD: --Aside from the middle section of the film, "Van Helsing" is pretty much non-stop action sequences. They're all very well constructed and with excellent effects, and most are terrifically exciting. The great beasts dreamed up for Van Helsing to fight are beautifully animated and very creative. I especially loved the vampire girls, they were very cool and the actresses gave wonderfully melodramatic performances. There are two especially memorable action sequences. The carriage ride was one of them; it just left me breathless, even if those horses leaping over the canyon was a little too far-fetched. The final showdown at Frankenstein's mansion was also quite exhilarating, but by far my favourite scene of the movie was Van Helsing's arrival in Transylvania. We get quick introductions, enough for us to like the characters, and it's right bang into smacking down those vampire girls! Awesome stuff. --Hugh Jackman proves again he can hold centre stage of an action film and p... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: Joshmo at May 8, 2004, 3:25 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | I for one put things in proper perspective... aside from Bride of Frankenstein, and Lugosis' performance in Son''''''' the sequels to the old classics.. Ghost, House.. etc.. leave MUCH to be desired... the monsters are under utilized in them, especially Frankie.. and the direction in them is bad and the dialoue and story is laughable... Van Helsing outshines them without a doubt in the story department (as thin as it is) direction, and fantastic action.. its a fun comic book feeling brought to life that Sommers gave it... This isnt Bram Stokers Dracula.. this is something different, and BOTH types can live side by side. It has great visuals, wonderful set design and all the monsters.. it is what it is, doesnt pretend to be high monster art and succeeds because of it... and it doesnt "trash the memory" of the old...PAH LEESE, it dusts off the old guys and breathes new life into them. For me it was a no brainer to give it an 8/10.. | | Static Link |
| Posted by: Klownzilla at May 7, 2004, 9:22 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | Years after viewing Universal's classic monster films, it was inevitable that someday these horror icons of the golden age would return to the big screen in an attempt by Universal to cash in big. That day has come and the result was rather enjoyable, but it just doesn't achieve the impact the original films left. Stephen Sommers pays tribute to the archaic movies in small ways and seems to show more of an influence towards Castlevania. Not only that, but I caught a slew of Fright Night references throughout. While Van Helsing is a fun popcorn flick, I doubt it will receive the status of being a classic. In the wonderfully executed opening sequence, we find Dr. Frankenstein in his lab bringing the monster to life. However at his moment of success, he's rudely interrupted by the angry villagers and gets a visit from the snide, power-hungry Count Dracula. Things don't exactly go the Doc's way when he attempts to kill Dracula (what the hell was he thinking?) for learning of his evil intentions for the monster. ... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: Boba Joe at May 7, 2004, 6:38 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | I really wasn't planning on seeing this film in the theatre but decided to go on a whim. Going in, I really wasn't expecting much. When I left, I ended up getting so much less. My main complaint with the film is the CGI. Excuse me, the ridiculously enormous and unnecessary amount of CGI. It was way over the top. The acting, sadly, wasn't much better. Hugh Jackman seemed pretty bored most of movie (And considering most of his screen time was not even him) and as much as I adore Kate Becksinsale, I found her European accent...fake. Richard Roxburgh was laughable as Count Dracula. David Wenham was the comic relief who didn't make me laugh very much. I don't ever remember Frankenstein's Monster speaking so clearly of the English language (Give me "Puttin' on the raaahhhtsss." anyday). The Wolf Man (the movie's coolest looking villian) had the least amount of screen time between the 3 classic monsters. I knew what I was in for when I saw the battle with Mr. Hyde at the beginning, and if I was smart, I w... | | Read Entire Entry |
| Posted by: MrCouch at May 7, 2004, 6:10 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | 3/10 this movie was complete crap and i was laughing throughout the enitre film. Enjoyin such other Sommers films as The Mummy series and The Jungle Book, Steven Sommers really went out cheesed up classic literature. I am constipated by the amount of cheese thrown into this movie. David Wenham was probably the best thing to come out of this film. Wenham is one of the most flexible actors I have ever seen on screen. From Moulin Rougue to Lord of The Rings to.....this.....thing. Good job David, you were the only thing keeping me in my seat. Of course I didnt really walk into this movie with very high expectations. Horrible writing, acting and just flat out ruined characters from Stoker, Shelley-Wollstonecraft, Stevenson and more. But can I expect? its hollywood. | | Static Link |
| Posted by: Thiago at May 6, 2004, 11:36 pm | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | The opening sequence is amazing. We have that "wow this is huge" feeling. Special effects are simply outstanding. Then we're introduced to our hero, in a very fun sequence. Later Mr. Helsing is sent to Transylvania where a very ass-kicking Kate Beckinsale is. The movie is a non-stop action flick, and has a pretty unexpected ending, which I liked a lot. OH, and the Dracula's brides are amazing!!! The movie pleased me. NOT perfect, but still fun. WAY BETTER THAN LXG and HULK (I'm just comparing it to them because people were saying "Oh, this is this year's Hulk/LXG." WELL, IT'S NOT, IT KICKS THEIR ASSES BIG TIME. 7.5/10 | | Static Link |
| Posted by: JoBlo at May 6, 2004, 12:42 am | | Topic: Reviews: Van Helsing Forum: JoBlo | | JoBlo's 7/10 review of VAN HELSING can be found here: http://www.joblo.com/vanhelsing.htm And what did you think of the movie? Add your comments below. GUIDELINES: CONSTRUCTIVE REVIEWS ONLY! 1) If you haven't seen the movie, don't post here, because it will be deleted. 2) If you add two-bit comments like "it rocked" or "it sucked the big one" or just a grade, it will be deleted. 3) If you insult anyone from the board in your post, it will be deleted and you will receive a warning from the board. A second warning and you will be banned altogether. You can disagree with others all you want but no putdowns are necessary to make your points. | | Static Link |
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