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Posted by: El Bracamonti at May 11, 2002, 4:01 am
Topic: Reviews: The Phantom Menace Forum: JoBlo
all my life, i have been a big star wars fan. when i went to see the phantom, menace foer the first time, i was exspecting the best movie i had ever seen. that is almost what i got, until little jake lloyed appeard on the screen. that kid pissed me off so much, that i almost shot the screen. all i wanted to see, was lightsabers, and yoda kickin some ass! i got one of those, but hthe other is soon to come(episode II). i thought the movie was good and smooth flowing, until the main characters took a little dtour to tatooine. that is where they met young aniken skywalker, who is the antichrist in my opinion. he did nothing for the movie, and he even rooined it in a sense. when i go to see a star wars movie, i don't want to see some little batsard that resembles richard simmnons, race a pod, and win the day. if anyone is gonna save the day, it is gonna be yoda slashing some guy with his little light saber, and telekinetic powers. also, i am forgetting the most annoying character in the film. i think thaat jar jar binx is the dumbest character to ever appear in a movie. ever!!!! he is loud, stupid, pointless, and an insult to movie characters everywhere. i wanted to see him shot from the very begining of the film. from the way my review has sounded so far, you must think that i hate everything to do with this movie. that is not true. for one thing, ewan mcgregor did a wonderful job portraying obi won kanobi, the young jedi that deeply wants to make his master proud. Also, in the scene with the jedi council, you get to listen to good ol yoda tell that little bitch anikin why he's not worthy of being a jedi. personally, i think that yoda should have just called him a bitch ass cocksucker, busted out a saber, and chopped the little whore up right there for all of us to see. that would have been coo!
also, the lightsaber fighting at the end of the movie was pretty sweet. darth maul probably had the sickest weapon ever to appear in a movie. although i always wanted the jedi's to win everything, i think it would have been cool if he had just taken the double saber, slashed through qui don jinn, and beat the shit out of kanobi. not only would it have been cool to see the bad guy win a fight in a star wars movie, but you would finally get to see a black guy with red paint and spikes, kill someone and not get arrested. that would have been cool.
i think that this movie was pretty good except for a couple of key points, and it deserves to be viewed atleast once. i give it a 7/10, and hope to god that yoda gets to lay the smackdown on someone or something in star wars movies to come. [This message has been edited by El Bracamonti (edited 05-17-2002).] [This message has been edited by El Bracamonti (edited 05-24-2002).]

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