Movie Talks Archives

Posted by: NotKeyserSoze at August 26, 2003, 9:46 am

Topic: Reviews: Terminator 3 Forum: JoBlo

The biggest problem with The Matrix was that it was just so good that a better film was impossible. Yet in today’s special-effects-motivated cinema, we expected one anyway, and thus The Matrix Reloaded, a film high on its own misplaced pomposity, was a complete letdown. It’s with that kind of letdown in mind that you can say to yourself “T3 is not going to be as good as T2,” and not succumb to the hype. Any disappointment will therefore be minimised, as you’ll have seen it coming. I went in expecting something mediocre, and when I got just that, I dare say I really enjoyed it. For it seems Jonathan Mostow knows full well his film isn’t going to be a patch on either of the earlier Terminator movies – so with that in mind, he’s taken a truck-load of clichés, wound them around some pretty noisy action scenes, slapped on some nice-looking CGI and voila, T3, action comedy of the year. And it is an action comedy. If “hasta la vista baby” or “I need a vacation” were too much for you, then just avoid T3 entirely. Arnie spouts such clunkers as “Relax!”, “Anger is more useful than despair” and, abysmally, “Talk to the hand.” This time he’s far more action-orientated, and spouting dodgy one-liners like the bastard child of Bruce Willis and James Bond. He doesn’t seem any older, and after getting his attire from a gay stripper and donning some crowd-tickling Elton John sunglasses (before crushing them under foot), it’s clear this is a new Terminator. Obsolete he may be, he’s definitely here to entertain. The gorgeous Kristanna Loken is his opponent, the TX. And she would be very threatening too, if her mini-arsenal didn’t hint at comparisons to Inspector Gadget (“Go go gadget flamethrower”) and Marco Beltrami, this second-sequel’s second-rate composer, was allowed to use something resembling the T1000’s ominous signature hum. A mild orchestral wobble follows her around in stead, hinting that memorable music – along with any sense of impending danger – is missing from the film. Loken is great to look at, and entertains no end in her vicious battles with Arnold’s camp T101 (and for all you ill-informed critics, he is a 101, not an 800, not a 100. The same goes for the one in T2 and The Terminator. Try paying attention!), but like Schwarzenegger in his debut, she’s almost without speech, and her pretty CGI weapons look well, like CGI weapons. Rest in peace, Stan Winston’s array of threatening model robots. The rest of the cast is limited. Nick Stahl is a likeable (though deeply wimpy) John Connor, and Clare Danes ruins most of her scenes as his screaming, complaining bride-to-be. When Arnold throws her around or yells at her, you’ll want to as well. Finally the mood of the picture, if indeed you can discern one from the pretty-lights and chases, is muddled. “There is no fate but what we make for ourselves” is the opening message, yet the finale definitely says there is a fate and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. What happened to free will? Not that T3 is going to depress anyone, because Judgement Day itself, and the quick, fiery deaths of 3 billion unsuspecting people, happens over some absurdly optimistic child-choir Christmas music. Definitely the oddest audience-laugh of the film, here we have John Connor almost gleefully shrugging off this unimaginable disaster. True, he’s had years to live with it but Clare Danes’ character seems to have dealt with the horrid reality instantly. Okay this is a movie, but some proper reactions, and something resembling the doom-ringing tone of the previous movies, would be nice instead of the woeful “At least we’re together” vibe the film ends on. The fact that it nips in just under 100 minutes and the plot is essentially “Arnold watches John Connor’s back in the scrambling pre-Judgement Day hours” means that T3 is neither ambitious nor grand. It’s not even well written (“Of course, it all makes sense now!”) and as I said before, Beltrami’s non-score doesn’t even try to add an element of atmosphere to the action set-pieces. But that brings you right back to the aim of the film, or the aim it cannot achieve: it can’t out-do T2, so Mostow isn’t trying. That’s why it feels like a mediocre action farce, and why Arnold’s death at the end is not only without emotion but, with a reminder of his assembly-line nature, we’re worried we’ll see him again. It’s soulless, lightweight and derative. However, that is what I expected, thus I wasn’t disappointed. On the contrary, I got 100 minutes of silly giggles and satisfying explosions. That’s why T3 is probably the best action comedy in a good while. Leave your brain at home and love it for what it is: stupid, but so much fun. 7/10

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