Movie Talks Archives

Posted by: Puck Bond at March 4, 2003, 10:42 pm

Topic: Half Past Dead (2002) Forum: JoBlo

Half Past Dead is a very bad, cliche riddled, poorly acted and generic action thriller that shows that Steven Seagal hasn't changed or gotten better and that rappers do not make for good actors or action stars. Seagal plays Sasha Postokovich a Russian FBI agent (lol right! there is not one hint at an attempt at a Russian accent) who has been sent in undercover to "New Alcatraz" (a new revampt high tech prison) to be reunited with his old friend and partner Ja Rule to get at a crime boss he is seekng revenge on. But soon the prison is taken over by an elite force lead by Morris Chestnutt in hopes of threatenng a death row inmate of giving up the location of $200 million worth of gold "bricks". There is also a plot involving capital punishent and the female judge who sentenced the inmate. Yeah i feel my brain-cells disappearing as I try and rehash this moronic over-done plot. Of course Seagal goes Under Siege style with his rapping cohorts and rather cheerful for hardened criminals and prison inmates to stop the terrorists from taking over the prison etc. etc. The trouble with this movie is Seagal looks old, fat and tired...like I said for a supposed Russian he speaks impeccable English...and don't get me started on gangsta thug rappers in action-kung fu movies...they are an excuse for attitude, colorful language and to sell soundtracks....the soundtrack to this movie was just so annoying and offensive...I could just hear Ja Rule doing his gangsta thing and saying "Hey this would make a cool action movie. Let's get Seagal to do it." Why did I waste my time and money on this movie...hey I used to be a fan of Seagal and I still like his older films...but like Van Damme and Stallone he has out-grown his action-stardom, there is just no place for guys like him in action movies anymore. Overall Half Past Dead is barely watchable, plausible or tolerable...in simpler terms The Rock(a great movie about Alcatraz and terrorists) this film is not.

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